A couple relationship is one of the closest we have as humans. Choosing a partner and staying together through life’s twists and turns is rarely simple. When we choose to get married and raise a family together, unsurprisingly this only adds to the complexity.

Whether you have the odd tiff, full-blown arguments or you have simply stopped having fun – very few relationships exist conflict-free. When this (one of our most important relationships) begins to falter, our health and happiness often suffers. While for many of us our first instinct is to try and work through problems alone, it can be incredibly useful to seek outside help.

One route you may choose to go down is couples counselling – a form of talk therapy designed for those in a relationship. On this page we will look at couples counselling in more detail, including how it can help and some of the common relationship problems explored.

Couples counselling (which can also be referred to as marriage guidance) is a form of therapy that looks to improve communication and resolve issues within an intimate relationship. In contrast to counselling for relationship issues, which can be undertaken solely through individual sessions, couples counselling is a term applied to talk therapy for two people within a relationship.

With this in mind, counselor who offer this form of therapy should have the relevant training to help them work with the dynamics of a couple. While couples counselling is ideally suited to couples attending the sessions together, if your partner is reluctant you can look to speak to a couples counselor on your own to begin with. You may find your partner wants to join you after you have had some initial sessions alone – or you may find it helpful to intersperse couple sessions with individual sessions.

In regards to the techniques used, some of the work you do, will take place within your counselling sessions themselves – however couples counselor may also ask you to carry out ‘homework’. Typically your counselor will ask you either to do a task or discuss something specific when you get home. During your next session you will get the chance to talk about your homework, discuss any challenges you came up against and how the experience made you both feel.

It is important to remember that when you go to couples counselling you will not simply be told what to do. Your counselor is unlikely to offer their personal opinion and you will not be told whether or not you should separate. The role of a couples counselor is to facilitate change and resolution by helping you both communicate more effectively and reach your own conclusions under the guidance of a professional.

If you are nervous about discussing private matters with a stranger, keep in mind that your counselor is not there to criticize you; your counselling sessions should be a space free of judgement where you can explore your actions openly.

When we have been in a relationship or marriage for a long time it can be easy to fall into a trap of not listening to the other person or not communicating our needs clearly. Sometimes talking to someone with no connection to yourself or your partner is all it takes for you to gain perspective. What couples counselling offers here is the chance to speak to someone with no preconceived notions of who you are as a couple, with the added bonus of having skills and training behind them to guide you through your concerns.

The overall aim of couples counselling is to help you do the following:

As your counselling sessions progress, you and your partner may find a way of overcoming your problems, or you may decide it is time to part ways. Either way, hopefully counselling will offer you the space to grow and decide what you would like the future to hold for both of you.

Couples benefit from couples therapy in a variety of ways. Very often, the source of our problems as couples is not that we do not love and care about our partners; it is that we do not know how to communicate well about what we want and need. The benefits of couples counselling can include:

Every couple is different and so when you choose to seek help will depend on the nature of the issue you are facing. If you are concerned about your relationship (for whatever reason) and feel you are unable to reach a conclusion alone, it is likely that you will benefit from couples counselling.

For some, the suggestion of couples counselling is considered a ‘last resort’ to save a relationship/marriage. While of course this is sometimes the case, you do not have to wait until things get that bad before trying couples counselling. Many couples use therapy sessions as a way to keep their relationship healthy and address any underlying concerns that may become conflicts in the future.